小二英语作文求助 [复制链接]

小二:萧小好人呐！！！这么仔细，我都不好说啥了！
真心谢谢你！每一个不足，我都会努力改正，争取不辜负你如此用心的指导！
还有，山风是姐姐哦！叫哥哥她会生气的呀！ (2013-08-14 23:24) 

你英语每次都有进步就是对我们最大的感谢啦。而且我自己也有收获的。山风哥哥应该不会看到的，哈哈其实可以叫我小箫、阿箫、箫箫之类的，打箫小应该比较麻烦→ →晚安啦

箫小:instruct sb. in a subject or skill 教某人某科目/技术。小二少了介词 (2013-08-14 22:20) 

这样呀~学习到了~都木有认识过这个词组呢~小小好棒~加油哟

　　2012年考研大作文练笔，关于心态。
    As is displayed in the cartoon ,some water is pouring out from the bottle that has fallen down for unknown reason .The most striking scene is that two people serve as a sharp contrast ,one of them seems in deep upset and just says “Everything has gone “,while the other one says “Fortunately,there is a little remain .”with a smile .
　　What a strange that two person show different expressions when they faced the same thing at the same time .How to account for this issue ?It’s most likely that the drawer means to reflect a phenomenon of people’s various attitudes towards life .As we all know ,not anything goes on by our ideas ,there are many problems which we don’t want to see or we can’t fix it at present ,set it aside or try it later ,maybe something goes better and then you can do it .Just remember don’t be pessimistic ,it makes no sense for resolving nuts we meet .If so ,our life will be worse than before .Transforming your attitude ,keep you chin up ,you may discover that our life will be better .
　　Of course ,easier said than done ,it’s not a simple case to change someone’s attitude .Yet the world is also not terrible as you reckon.The way how  you view to life ,life will return to you .In sum attitude decides all .
      求教各位高人。

内容太过空洞，读完以后感觉什么都没说清楚。建议稍微举一到两个例子。语句太过啰嗦，在网上百度了两篇范文，言简意赅，详略得当，你仔细读几遍。
写完以后多检查几遍。
1.第二段第一句时态不一致。
2.what a strange改  how strange it is
3.drawer抽屉
4.most likely最可能？
5.attitudes towards life .像中式英语，过于啰嗦，life attitudes就可以了
6.anything？  everything。
7. goes on by our ideas我个人感觉这样的搭配很奇怪
8.首段serve as的用法感觉很奇怪
9.很多句子都少了连词
10.it makes no sense for resolving nuts we meet。这个句型中it应该是做形式主语的，这里少了真正的主语。nut应该是非正式用语，你查一下。
11.keep your chin up
12.not so/as adj. as
13.view 及物动词

范文一  2012年考研英语(一)真题大作文范文   来自搜狐教育
In recent years, there have been great concerns over the life attitude of the youngsters. As is depicted in the picture above, facing a bottle with most the wine spilled out on the ground, one man is sighing the tragedy, whereas the other rejoices over the remained wine in the bottle。

　　The real implications of the picture lies in that different attitude leads to completely diverse results. For optimistic people, they could find the happiness even facing the most difficult situation. And life is a comedy. Conversely, for people with pessimistic attitude, troubles are everywhere and always exist. Their lives is filled with one after another tragedies。

　　To my best understanding, the story of Den Yaping could be the best illustration of this point. If she kept upset by her stature, she could not have achieved so much in table tennis. All in all, young people should bear in mind that "better to light a candle than to curse the darkness".
在搜狐教育看到有两个英语作文指导还不错，链接如下
2012年考研英语图画作文的解题步骤初探

考前杀手锏：2012考研英语作文完美流程

范文二 来自233网校
                                                         Always the bright side!

　　To smile, or to cry, it is a question, especially when you confront with the situation mirrored in the picture: a bottle of milk is dropped and only half left, one cries over the loss, while the other smiles: how lucky we still have a half left!

　　Similar things happen a lot in our lives. When troubles happen, it is always important for an enterprising mind to remember that hope still exists, that smiles might be the best policy! Taking science for instance, not a single great discovery is made without overcoming numerous setbacks and failures. Madam Curie spent over 20 years fighting with failures and frustrations. If she had faltered for even once, she would not have discovered Radium. So did other great inventors!

　　Never tiring, never yielding, never finishing! When you are in trouble, remember what they say: when God shuts a door, he will also open a window for you. Life is full of ups and downs, and optimism, other than pessimism, is the best policy.

箫小:范文二 来自233网校
                                        & .. (2013-08-25 23:52) 

如此细心，可真感动呀！衷心谢谢了。